Thursday, January 13, 2011

Identity (as seen thru a cloaked veil)

I'm nobody! Who are you?
Are you nobody, too?

                                       - Emily Dickinson



How does one escape their definition?


Since the fall of 2001 my life has been stricken with the disease affectionately known as Depression. (Fellow brethren, chuck 'affectionately' and put in any word you see fit.) For these last nine years I have seen my mirrored reflection and witnessed nothing but Depression's cloak. To my eyes we are the same entity; we are One. (soul mates)


I assume when others look at me, it is the darkness which prevails on their sight. It is this darkness which tilts their heads away and paralyzes any desire to look again. In my mind this darkness is my entire being.


My heart is fragile and shatters with ease. The mask I wear which speaks of cold ambivalence is a lie. I care deeply for others, and for their opinions of me. When I see them look away, or when they don't look at all, my face stones into an expressionless state. I wish I was as numb as I appear.


Coherent thought has abandoned me today. Looking above I can't seem to string more than a few sentances together. I promise that will change when my mind becomes less clouded.

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